“Change is the only constant.”
Lost I was; for a long time. Life was easy, but I looked at it differently. As Nietzsche said, “There’s no facts, only interpretations”. I interpreted life to be sad. It was far from it though. A heartbreak here and there, irrelevant differences with family, stupid fights with close friends further sank me into a deep state of depression. A little bit of positivity, a different outlook would’ve helped. But I never let go of the overburdened load which still swaddled around me and sunk me beneath the ocean of sadness. Blaming others was the easiest way out. It’s us who needs to break free, who needs to take that journey further. Others can merely show us the direction.
Things don’t stay the same in the longer run. Everything changes for better or for worse. Sometimes, the smallest things can alter the directions of our lives. A mere coincidence, a chance encounter, a fleeting glance. It may sound farfetched, but it does happen. We change to become better versions of ourselves or we simply perish. All of it depends on how well we get accustomed to the surrounding environment. Changing oneself is no easy job though. There’s no point going the distance if deep down one doesn’t want to change. Change can be scary as well. Stepping into the unknown would be pretty frightening. Won’t it be? The first step towards it would be quite hard. Once you gather enough courage to take the first step, the following ones won’t be difficult at all.
Courage isn’t the only ingredient though. Focus is important as well. Alexander the Great’s tales of bravery was extraordinary but there were many brave men in ancient Greece. It’s his single-mindedness to conquer the world which differentiated him from the rest of them. In spite of so many obstacles coming his way, did he ever lose hope? If he would have, would we be talking about his greatness right now? Definitely not.
Changing oneself is not a sprint, instead it is an infuriating marathon, or may be a Triathlon. With each passing day, the person going through it would become stronger, more resilient enough to not give up. Initially there would be a lot of hardships. One needs to keep going if he/she wants to complete the race. To enforce change one needs to devote time to part away from the existing values to make way for newer ones. Our belief systems are more like roots; have become so entangled that it’s unthinkable that we will ever part. Just imagine, if someone who believes Capital punishment is just, cannot go against it the very next day. Once we come out of our comfort zone and start asking questions, our perspectives might change.
There can be instances where a single experience would make you doubt your existing set of beliefs. E.g. the drastic transformation King Asoka went through after the Kalinga war can be one such example. What make people disregard their own dominant convictions? What make them go against their own belief systems? A tricky question. Isn’t it?
A friend of mine had this notion that giving money to a beggar kid would further isolate them from diligence. Rather it would encourage them to continue to be beggars in future as well. One fine day he decided to observe a kid whom he would meet often near a traffic signal on his way to office. The kid in his shabby clothes would beg and after a while would go to a corner next to the road to give back whatever he collected to an old man. After many such observations, he realized that the kid would get a violent whipping if he fails to collect any money. Further enquiry helped my friend realize that the shadowy figure is none other than the father of the kid. A drunkard laborer who would force his kid to beg to support his own addiction. Now days, my friend would give money to such kids, whenever he encounters them. When asked why, his answer was, “it might save the kid from a beating.”
Memories are having this distinct power to warm you up from the inside. A storehouse of all our remembrance. Certain times, they are so far away from present, it becomes vague and disputable. No matter how fictitious they are, we believe them to be true. There are events, which we have encountered partially and not aware of the whole side of it. So we would build stories around it, make multiple hypothesis adjoining it. For us they are the whole truth.
When you are lost in a land that’s far away from the reality you ever believed to be true, the importance of truth doesn’t matter. To be frank, seclusion was driving me insane. Nothing mattered at all. Time become a devil and it consumed my sanity. I would not sleep for days to stay away from dreams. But being awake didn’t help either. Hallucinations from the past were plenty. I started seeing people who were long gone from my life. I knew my mind is playing games, but those experiences were life like. Certain times I relished them. It emulated what I wanted my life to be.